The Gift of the Meiji
by April-san
Summary: It’s Christmas time in the April-san household. She wants to include her ‘housemates’ in the festivities. What can go wrong? Everything! *Mwa ha ha ha! Done!* Need some holdiay cheer, read this!
1. Name drawing?

Teaser: It's Christmas time in the April-san household. She wants to include her   
'housemates' in the festivities. What can go wrong? Everything!   
  
Warning: Mwa ha ha ha!! Soujirou and Okita are mine!! All mine!! But, all respective   
rights belong to Nobuhiro Watsuki-sama. All I have is my mind (and not even that most   
of the time) so please do not sue me.  
Thank you to everyone who reviewed my previous stories. I greatly appreciate it. I hope   
this super short one does not disappoint.   
  
  
The Gift of the Meiji  
By April-san  
  
  
Soujirou came skipping out of April-san's bedroom and stopped in the living room, in the   
middle of a huge fight.  
  
"It's not fair!" cried Yahkio. "I never get my way!"  
  
"We are NOT watching Teletubbies, and that is final! By the way, my vote is for   
Rambo."  
  
"Not in front of the kids."  
  
"But the kids love Rambo."  
  
"No! Titanic!"  
  
"We watched that one six times last week, Karou-dono."  
  
"Well, I know a certain bunch of young men watched Lord of the Rings twice that many   
times last week!"  
  
"It's better than that Notting Hill you girls made us watch!"  
  
"April-san needs to get more Anime…"  
  
"Actually, I'm in the mood for a musical."  
  
The entire male population groaned.  
  
"No way! Something with blood and violence!"  
  
"A plot!"  
  
"A love story!"  
  
"Then it's decided! A Monty Python movie!"  
  
Half the room cheered. Half the room moaned.  
  
"Ano?" Soujirou said, trying to get everyone's attention.   
  
No one paid him any heed.   
  
"Ahh, Gomen."  
  
Still nothing but bickering.  
  
Soujirou then did the most drastic and potentially fatal move possible: he turned off the   
television. All eyes turned to him, many one blink from a murderous rage. "Ano, I just   
thought you should all know. April-san is preparing for Christmas and she wants to   
include us, this year."  
  
The rage turned to absolute panic. Not a sound was heard as everyone held their breaths.  
  
"We're going to exchange gifts!" he spoke with a huge smile.  
  
"All of us?"  
  
"Yep."  
  
"Even us who are not technically alive?"  
  
"Yep."  
  
"Even us who believe in nothing but our own strength?"  
  
"Yep."  
  
"Neechan!" cried Enishi (the newest member to the April-san household), "do I have to   
participate? Will you smile then, Neechan?!" He stared at the white wall for a long   
moment.  
  
Tomoe, sitting across the room next to Yumi, shook her head. "I think Enshi likes his   
imaginary sister more than me."   
  
"Okay, neechan," Enishi declared, suddenly. "But, I better get a good name!" He glared   
at everyone around him.  
  
Okita poked his head out from the bathroom doorway. "I have a bad feeling about   
this…"  
  
  
Names were exchanged, then exchanged again, and then re-exchanged due to some   
tampering discovered when all the names read Sano, then Cho, then when someone   
'accidentally' put all the names in the fish-bowl already filled with water and fish.   
  
Shishio pushed his way to the front of the line. "The strongest go first!" he declared and   
grabbed the first slip on the top.   
  
Soujirou picked a slip of paper from the paper filled fish-tank and grinned openly at   
Okita. Okita drew a name from the fish-tank and also grinned openly at Soujirou.   
Everyone else sweatdropped.  
  
Sano let out a little breath. "At least I don't have to worry about getting the smiley   
boys." He pulled his slip from the tank and looked at the name. His jaw fell open and he   
shook his head. "No…! Why do I always get the psychos!"  
  
Shishio grinned. Saito's eyebrow rose. Aoshi ignored them all. Enishi softly chuckled   
to himself.  
  
"You first, Karou-dono."  
  
"Arogato, Kenshin." She drew a slip and held it to her heart without looking at it.  
  
The short red-haired man chose a slip and slowly opened it. "Orooo…"  
  
Saito picked out a slip. He took one look at it and cursed. "Ahou!"  
  
"It's our turn, Aoshi-sama! I hope I get you…"  
  
"…"  
  
"Ahh, my kind of holiday," spoke Amakusa Shogo, as an unknown light touched his   
head, and he drew a name.  
  
Yahiko dug to the very bottom of the bowl and drew the most crumpled name.   
  
Hiko chose one and scowled as he looked at it. "Can I choose another?"  
  
*"Did you get your own name?"*  
  
"No, but-"  
  
*"Sorry."*  
  
Hiko shook his head and poked Soujirou in the ribs. "Hey, kid, what would you get a   
cross-dresser?"  
  
Soujirou just smiled.  
  
One by one each member of the April-san household chose a name. Then the fun   
continued…shopping for the gifts! Finally…the exchange on Christmas Eve!  
  
  
Authors Notes:  
Well, do I continue? I'm still fighting a horrid case of writer's block. I would appreciate   
any comments or suggestions (I can't figure what to get my secret Santa in real life).   
What would you get a cross-dresser? *grin* How much will Enishi like the rubber   
ducky I got him? *Nervously scratches her head* HELP!! 


	2. Pre present time

Sorry, it's another short one, but I'm working as fast as I can! As always, all respective   
rights belong to Nobuhiro Watsuki-sama. I have nothing but this big ball of string, so   
please do not sue. I'd be happy to share.  
  
The Gift of the Meiji Chapter 2  
By April-san  
  
The days came and went, much quicker than anyone expected. As the hour drew near,   
some were franticly putting their final touches on their gifts, some rushing out to get their   
gifts, and some were thinking 'Ah, I got a full half-an-hour before we exchange   
gifts…more than plenty of time to think of something'.   
  
April-san was going absolutely crazy watching half her household get drunk on the   
homemade eggnog and trying to ignore the other half oooing and ahhing the constantly   
blinking lights on the tree.  
  
"Here comes red again!"  
  
"Oooo…"  
  
"Here comes blue again!"  
  
"Ahhh…"  
  
"It's magic, I tell you! A spirit! It will steal your souls when you…Oooo…yellow…"  
  
"Can we open presents yet, pleeese?"  
  
*"Not yet, Kenshin. And, please stop shaking the presents."*  
  
"Aww…"  
  
*"Seriously, you're worse than Yahiko and Saito!"*  
  
Saito poked his head up from behind the tree. "I am offended by that statement." He   
stooped back down and the sound of another box being shaken was then heard.   
  
"I want to watch the Grinch!"  
  
"You ARE a Grinch!"  
  
"White Christmas!" the girls spoke together.  
  
"When can we open the presents??"  
  
Hiko scooped out another cup of eggnog. "This stuff is good!" When no one was   
looking, Hiko quickly filled his sake jug with the thick beverage.  
  
"Scrooge!"  
  
"Rambo!"  
  
"But that's not a holiday movie."  
  
"Rambo is an anytime movie!"  
  
"Do you smell something burning?" Sniff…sniff… "Oh, it's just Shishio. Never mind."  
  
In the kitchen…  
  
*"Okita, uh, using your sword to stab the olives out of the jar is probably not a good idea.   
Try working on the sausage tray. Um, Soujirou? Why are you decorating all the cookies   
in red sprinkles?"*  
  
"Ahh." Smile. "The cookies are weak-"  
  
*"Say no more. Enishi, you're doing a great job stirring that dip."*  
  
Enishi blinked. "Neechan! Will you smile if I stir the dip?! Neechan?!"  
  
"Of course not!" Tomoe yelled from the adjoining room.  
  
*"Forget I said anything. Has anyone seen the mistletoe I bought?"*  
  
Silence.  
  
*The author slowly rubbed at her temple. "Okay, which bedroom do I start searching?"*  
  
"When can we open the preseeentttsss??"  
  
*"Amakusa Shogo, please stop playing with the baby Jesus and stay away from my   
nativity. It's quite breaka-"*  
  
Snap! Shogo quickly put down the two pieces and backed away.  
  
*"Aw, never mind. Saito! Get away from those presents! What is his problem   
anyway?"*  
  
Okita looked up from slicing. "You see, Saito already knows who has whose name.   
What's driving him crazy is that he doesn't know what everyone got." Okita softly   
laughed and his voice softened. "I guess it doesn't help that I wrapped a few empty   
boxes."  
  
"It's a spirit, I tell you! A spirit!! It will…mmm…green…"  
  
*"Iwambo, stop eating my poinsettia!"*  
  
"Isn't this romantic, Aoshi-sama?"  
  
"…"  
  
"Which gift do you think is mine, Aoshi-sama?"  
  
"…"  
  
"Which gift do you think is yours, Aoshi-sama?"  
  
"…"  
  
"Uh, Misao, I wouldn't bother him, if I were you." Kaoru's voice lowered. "I think he's   
had too much eggnog…"  
  
All the while, Kamatari slowly inched her way to Hiko's side, finally resting her head on   
his arm. "So, big boy, what did you get me?"  
  
"A muzzle."  
  
She laughed and wrapped her arms around his arm.  
  
"Poisoned fruitcake."  
  
"Aww, you're so sweet." She snuggled closer to him.  
  
Hiko just blinked at her.  
  
Soujirou tried to hide a hiccup. "This…eggnog…is strong…" Hiccup!   
  
*Sigh. "Just a reminder, the eggnog is off limits to minors!"*  
  
Yahiko quickly hid his cup. "Eggnog? We have Eggnog?"  
  
*"We're almost ready! Enishi, where's the dip?"*  
  
"Dip?"  
  
*"The dip you were stirring." She rolled her eyes. "Enishi, where did you hide it? No,   
I'm not going to believe that it died and you buried it. Where did you hide it?" She   
finally finds it hidden in the microwave. "Okay, everyone! We're ready!"*  
  
"Ready?"  
  
"Presents time!!!"  
  
To be continued…  
  
***   
  
Authors notes:  
Sorry, another short chapter. I think it's better than the last one, though. One to go   
before Christmas, yay! I still need more suggestions for presents, please!  
Thank you Kishi Seta, Takato the Wolf Taikashi, …, Kriska, and Chiki for the reviews   
and suggestions! I appreciate them.  
I almost forgot: Okita and Soujirou are mine! Mine! Mwa ha ha ha!  
Hopefully I'll have it finished in a few days (with some luck and divine intervention). 


	3. Corniest Gifts Ever!

Finally done! This was driving me crazy! (Gollum-like crazy, not Saito-like crazy!) I   
tried my best. All respective rights belong to Nobuhiro Watsuki-sama.   
Mmm…cheesecake…  
I'm sorry I had to change the rating. I just couldn't help myself. *grins evily*  
Yes, I forgot about Tomoe. I'm sorry!! The oversight has been rectified in this one!   
Please don't hurt me! Baggins! Shire! Arrrgghhh!!  
  
The Gift of the Meiji Chapter 3  
Corniest Gifts Ever!  
By April-san  
  
By the time the trays of snacks were brought out and everyone had their favorite spot in   
the living room (except Sano who refused to go near that 'devilry of a tree'), all eyes   
were glued to the brightly wrapped presents.  
  
*"I would like to kindly remind everyone that the shrimp in the shrimp dip are for eating,   
not playing with."*  
  
Yahiko quickly put the object he was tormenting Misao with in his mouth.  
  
*"Iwambo, you're supposed to use chips with the chili cheese dip! Oh, well. I wouldn't   
recommend anyone trying that dip. I don't think he's washed his hands lately."*  
  
"Eeewww…!"  
  
"Uh…can I ask why are all the cookies decorated red?"  
  
"Talk to smiley here."  
  
All eyes turned to the obviously drunk Tenken, trying to lift his eggnog filled glass to his   
mouth. "Ara?"  
  
"Why are all the cookies red?"  
  
"Ahh." He smiled, a thick coat of eggnog still on his upper lip. "Cause the cookies are   
weak. The weak are food for the strong." Hiccup!  
  
Shishio laughed. "That's my boy!"  
  
"I wanna open the presents, now!"  
  
*"Okay, I know everyone isn't going to like it, but I want to go one by one so I can get   
pictures. Any objections?"*  
  
The room exploded in heated statements, pleading, and a few cries.  
  
"Noo!"  
  
"The camera will steal our souls!!"  
  
*The author calmly put her hands over her ears, closed her eyes, and softly hummed a   
Christmas song as the room slowly quieted down. She then smiled a smile that would put   
Soujirou to shame. "Good. No objections. Now, who goes first?"  
  
The room echoed with a single word: "ME!!!"  
  
*"Enishi, you're the only one who didn't call out. You go first."* If looks could have   
killed, the Author would have been dead quite a few times.  
  
Silence.  
  
*"Uh, who has Enishi's name? Someone?" Is now afraid. "Anyone…?" Is now   
terrified for her life. "Please…" Is now mortified for everyone in her entire   
neighborhood.*  
  
The tiniest squeak behind the author brought all eyes to the quivering figure. Tsubame   
slightly held up a shaking hand. "I…I didn't know…what to get you, Enishi-san.   
Tomoe-san gave me a few ideas…"  
  
A small box was placed before the white haired psychopath. Enishi slowly opened his   
box to find homemade chocolate chip cookies. Not just any cookies, but cookies with the   
chips in the shape of a smiling face on each one.   
  
Everyone held their breath.  
  
"Nee…chan…?"  
  
*"Congrats Tsubame. I think he likes them."*  
  
"My turn," declared Yumi, who tore into her envelope. "Good for one free year   
of…Weight Watchers??!!" The words that came from her mouth were unsuitable for   
print.  
  
Shishio didn't wait to be told it was his turn. He just tore into the wrappings of a medium   
sized box. He scowled at the writing. "A…George Forman Grill? Who is George   
Forman and why would I want to grill him on something like this?"  
  
*"Iwambo, stop eating my ornaments! Those are plastic candy canes!"*  
  
Tsubame blinked at her box. "Barbie…doll??" Her eyes fell to the doll's endowments,   
she blushed red, and quickly hid the doll away.  
  
Kaoru beamed. "I think I already know what I got. A book. Perhaps something a little   
dirty?" She giggled. Kaoru slowly slid her nails under each piece of tape, gently saving   
the wrapping paper. Her smile quickly disappeared as she read the name of the book she   
had been given. "Basic Cooking…For Dummies??!!"  
  
The shriek could be heard from the next town.  
  
Okita happily ignored the outburst and used his sword to open his wrapping. "Ooo! Two   
bottles!" he smiled. "Bubble bath and…shampoo and conditioner…all in one!"  
  
Soujirou slowly and tipsily tore into his gift. "Oro…"   
  
"Uh, Soujirou-dono, I think that's my line," spoke Kenshin.  
  
"Ooo…Oro…" hic!  
  
Okita glanced over Soujirou's shoulder to help him out. "Oreo! You got chocolate   
covered Oreos! Two boxes! Can I have some?"  
  
"Oro…?" asked Soujirou.  
  
"Oro…" replied Kenshin.  
  
"Iwambo, it's your turn. Open your gift."  
  
He slowly ripped open his package and stared at the two pound dumbbells. He proceeded   
to eat one and save the other for a snack later on.  
  
Sano tore open his envelope. "Gift certificate to…the Akebeko?! Oh, I love you guys!   
In a platonic sort of way, of course."  
  
"It's your turn, Ken-san. Ho ho ho." For some reason, Megumi had grown fox ears.   
  
Kenshin timidly opened his box. Without allowing anyone to see, he peeked inside. His   
face turned as red as his hair.  
  
"So, what did you get?"  
  
"Oro…"  
  
"Let's see, let's see!"  
  
His beet red face quickly shook.  
  
Karou rolled her eyes. "It can't be that bad…" She grabbed inside the box and, to her   
utter embarrassment, held up a pair of speedos. "EEEKKK!!"  
  
*The author, being as evil as they get, quickly snapped a picture.*  
  
Kamatrai squealed. "My turn!" She slowly opened her tiny package. "Secret, strong   
enough for a man, made for a woman! Oh, how cute!" She commenced to glomp Hiko   
who, in turn, tried to squirm away.  
  
"Me next!" A rainstorm of paper flew through the air as Cho managed to use at least   
three swords to open his gift. "A…Chia Pet??"  
  
"Oh, these things are great! You put the seeds on top and you water it and you watch it   
grow!"  
  
Cho sweatdropped.   
  
"A clap…per? What the @$#% do I need a Clapper for?" swore Amakusa Shogo.  
  
Yahiko rolled around the floor caught in his laughter. "Clap on! Clap off! Clap on!   
Clap-!"  
  
*"You've had way too much eggnog, Yahiko! I'm cutting you off now!"*  
  
"Aoshi-sama…I got your name…I hope you like it."  
  
"Exotic dance lessons??? Misou-!"  
  
"Fruitcake?! Who gives fruitcake in this day and age?!"  
  
"My turn! My turn!" Yahiko tore into his package and pulled out a big, fuzzy, red   
figure. "Tickle…Me Elmo???"  
  
"Ooo…That tickles! Hee hee hee hee…" The figure began to giggle and squirm in   
Yahiko's hands.   
  
Yahiko's eyes grew wide as he dropped the figure and beat Elmo into unconsciousness   
with his boken.  
  
"Yuck! Who slobbered over all the cookies?!"  
  
Sano's head perked up. "There are cookies left? Mmmm…"  
  
"Oh!" exclaimed Tomoe. "A locking diary! I always wanted one of these to keep prying   
eyes from my thoughts…" She scowled at Kenshin and then at Enishi.  
  
Misao smiled at the huge box before her. She quickly tore it open but stopped with a   
blank look on her face. "Garden…Weasel??!!" Aoshi had to quickly restrain her.  
  
Saito took out his sword and stood in the Gatotsu stance. He attacked the present,   
sending paper flying everywhere but leaving the box unmarked.  
  
"How does he do that?"  
  
"Clue???" Saito scowled. "Okay, who is the wise guy??!!"  
  
"What am I going to do with a five pound fruitcake?" complained Megumi.  
  
"Mmm…" The fruitcake was quickly devoured by Sano.  
  
"Do you like your present, Aoshi-sama?"  
  
"…"  
  
"So," whispered Kaoru to Misao, "Does he like it or not?"  
  
"To tell the truth, I really can't tell."  
  
Kamatrai still had not let go of Hiko's arm. "How did a guy like you get so big and   
strong?"  
  
It was obvious from anyone watching that Hiko was only a moment away from drawing   
his sword…his metal one.  
  
"And that hair! Oh, I would love to braid your hair… You know, with a little training,   
and a little less bulk, you could become the perfect-"  
  
*"Ahem. Hiko, it's your turn to open your gift."*  
  
He shot the author a look of sincere gratitude. "So, who's the lucky person to get my   
name?"  
  
"Uh, Shisho-"  
  
"Not now, baka deshi. So, who got my name?"  
  
"Shisho-"  
  
"Can you not understand my words, baka deshi? Not now!"  
  
*"Um, Hiko, I think Kenshin got your name."*  
  
He crossed his arms and faced his student with a scowl on his face.  
  
"Well, Sesha has lived with you for many years and Sesha knows how much you like   
sake, so…"  
  
"So…?"  
  
"So Sesha got you something Sesha thinks you will like very much."  
  
Hiko tore into the package and held up a small metallic bag. "Sake-nuts??!!" (*Think   
Beer-nuts*)  
  
"The perfect snack to go with sake," Kenshin proudly proclaimed. "A little salty, a little   
sweet. The perfect combination for-"  
  
"Baka!" Hiko threw the bag to the ground, which was promptly picked up and consumed   
by Sano.  
  
"Uh, Shisho. Look what is also inside the box, de gozaru."  
  
Hiko shot Kenshin the look of death, much worse than the one during the Ougi, and   
glanced inside the box. He picked up a tiny paper and slowly read it. "Good for one free   
admission into the sake gardens. Free tour and free samples for the day. Must be 21 to   
enter. Designated driver recommended." His eyes actually watered up and he couldn't   
speak.   
  
*The author looked around at all the faces, many filled with joy, many more filled with   
outrage and murderous intent. "Did everyone get a gift? Excellent! Anyone who wants   
to watch my new DVD of Fruits Basket we will meet in my bedroom in five minutes.   
Then, who knows. We might have a RK marathon! Five minutes to fill up on snacks,   
beverages, and to use the bathroom!"*  
  
"What about those boxes left under the tree?" Saito pointed out.  
  
*"Uh…" The author glanced to Okita, who was busy trying to keep Soujirou from   
drinking more eggnog. "They're just…uh…for Santa! That's it! For Santa!"*  
  
Saito scowled even deeper and everyone could see gatotsu in his eyes.  
  
*Uh, we got four minutes left!" She ran from the room.*  
  
The entire room emptied out except for Saito and Kenshin.  
  
"Hey, Battousai…" His scowl actually softened.   
  
"What, Saito, de gozaru?"  
  
He paused. "Are you actually planning on wearing that?" He pointed to Kenshin's   
present.  
  
"Not in front of you, de gozaru!"  
  
"I didn't mean that, Ahou!" Again, he hesitated. "Want to trade?"  
  
"Oro? Presents?"  
  
"No! Women! Of course presents!"  
  
"What are you going to do with a pair of speedos?"  
  
"It's none of your business! Do you want to trade or not?!"  
  
Without hesitation, Kenshin quickly nodded.  
  
Speedos in hand, Saito chuckled softly to himself. "Tokio is going to love this."  
  
And, with that, another holiday for the April-san household was survived with minimal   
casualties.  
  
The End…?  
  
"At least for now," laughed a dark shadow in the background.  
  
*"I am not doing New Years!"*  
  
"We'll see…"  
  
*"SAITO!! GET IT!!"*  
  
"Aku Soku Z-!"  
  
"EEK!" The shadow ran off.  
  
*"Whew! Thanks Saito."*  
  
"Ahou…"  
  
  
Owari  
  
***  
  
Authors Notes:  
I hate writing under pressure (I had to get done before Christmas! I had to!)! That stupid   
writer's block came back right in the middle! Thank goodness for my crazy 'real' family   
(took me to see Two Towers, yay!). And Linda-san for the idea of the speedos. Thank   
you everyone for the wonderful ideas! You do not know how much you helped! I know   
I missed a few characters with their presents. I'm sorry. I just couldn't think anymore!   
Well, when in doubt, give fruitcake!  
  
Thank you so much Takato the Wolf Taikashi, tesuka-chan, nekonomiko, Kriska, Anime   
no Miko, just a nobody, …, Chiki, and Kishi Seta!! *Smootchies and Glomps!* Oh,   
sorry about the slobber…  
  
Now, what do I work on next? Serious or Humor? *Flips a coin* Hmm…  
  
I can't believe I almost forgot: Okita and Soujirou are mine! Mine! Mwa ha ha ha!! 


End file.
